To outside viewers I may seem like a flaky person. I’m not when it comes to important matters, but lately my desire to please others and my struggle to state what I want have come into conflict. Luckily, my wants have been winning. I’m becoming less and less willing to compromise as I get older, but I also want to be kinder and interact more with others despite my constant fear of being hurt and disappointed.

Keoni and I contemplated getting a cat this weekend, but in the end decided not to. We really just want our old cats back, but since they are buried outside under the tree I don’t think they will be coming back anytime soon. It’s sad on my part to say that a new cat would be a hassle, but when you think about how neurotic I am about knowing what something is doing in my home then you’ll understand. I knew that the old cats wouldn’t destroy anything and would basically entertain themselves. Kittens don’t really do that. I amazed that I’ve had so many cats in the past. I must really be a different person than I was 10 years ago. What’s the difference? I didn’t have to work at the time, and I wasn’t away from the house for too long.
I suppose it really comes down to the fact that I don’t want to be responsible for anyone or anything other than myself. Good thing I don’t have any children… I probably wouldn’t make a very good parent.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 4th, 2008 at 12:41 am and is filed under photos, writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.